And It's Going to Take Some Time...

Back again from another work-related trip, also to Malaysia. It wasn't the easiest time for me. One reason I do hope awareness of gluten intolerance increases in this part of the world, is because people in Southeast Asia don't seem to take it seriously when you say you can't eat gluten.

This time, I thought I took the necessary precautions in order to ensure gluten-free meals the whole trip. But they weren't enough to overcome the sheer ignorance and apathy I had to face.

I remembered well enough to alert the trip planners ahead of time. My colleague in charge of the meals answered brightly "Sure thing! We'll make sure you won't be served wheat or barley!", as though anyone eats just wheat or barley like some kind of a dish on their own. When I pressed on and clarified that that included not just the usual suspects like bread and cake, but also things like soy sauce, beer, batter-fried or bread-crumbed foods, and even imitation crabstick, his reaction on the other end of the line seemed suspiciously like a stunned silence. Yes, young Paduwan, you have much to learn.

As does almost everybody else out there, or so it seems. My meals, as long as they were buffet-style, were OK, as I could just avoid the foods with gluten. Chinese meals, with several courses, were tolerable, as I could avoid the courses with wheat, barley or oats. But catered, fixed meals and communal dinners where I had no control over the menu were a positive nightmare. There was one meal where we were all supposed to cook our dinner ingredients in a Chinese steamboat, that fun communal stockpot in the centre of the table. It's great for social bonding. But it's only fun for me if there's no gluten in it. Going in to dinner, I took one look at the piles of raw wheat noodles laid out all around the steamboat and knew immediately I would have to back out, as any gluten-free ingredient cooked in that same swirling soup as the noodles would mean hours of cramping and pain a couple of days after, not forgetting the accompanying gory output.

With a pained smile, I apologised and excused myself. I went back up to my hotel room and ordered from the room service menu instead. And here's the thing: I shouldn't have had to apologise. I'd made my dietary needs clear only to have them ignored -- if anything they should have apologised to me. And yet just two days later, on a team-building trip outside, I got my pre-packaged meal and had to throw away the accompanying chicken because it was breaded. (No one accepted my offer to take it off my hands.) That kind of waste just makes me feel wretched. There are people starving in the world, and to dump food uneaten is beyond disrespectful.

What really sucks is that the trip organisers went out of their way to ensure the vegetarians in our group had meat-free options all the way, the Muslims had everything halal, and the Hindus had it all beef-free. But my meals were spent dodging dishes and wasting food. Were they ignorant? Or did they just not care?

I heard that one of the planners commented later -- referring to me -- that all Singaporeans are fussy eaters. How snide that sounded, as though they thought I was being pernickety just because I didn't like this or that, that it was just a taste thing, or that it was some kind of new-fangled diet. Listen up people: I don't choose to be fussy about food. I eat this way because to do otherwise would damage my body. Can you knuckleheads comprehend that? If an alcoholic refuses alcohol, or a diabetic sugar, are they just being fussy, or are they doing what they do so their bodies don't break down? It's the same thing for the gluten intolerant. Keep whacking the system with gluten and possible outcomes include severe malnutrition, osteoporosis, even cancer. So keep your comments to yourself and try some common sense please. A little respect for a person in need wouldn't hurt either.

All in all I think I managed to avoid most of the gluten on this trip. Some of the offending substance might have sneaked in during a multi-course Chinese dinner on the first night, but my enzyme pills weakened the impact a bit. They're not a cure, and your intestines still suffer damage, but the symptoms soften from killingly painful to just barely tolerable. So two days after (it seems like the symptoms take two days to reach their peak) I had the painful toilet runs again. But after that, things seemed to settle down a bit.

I missed being away from my regular foods. One food I have noticed that helps out a bit, surprisingly, is cheese. This isn't a cure either, but if you've been hit with only a tiny bit of gluten, I think the casein helps to hold things together somewhat as food passes through your digestive canal, so you have an easier time when the waste emerges. In plainer terms: your gloopy diarrhea turns more solid and easier to evacuate. So if you've had a tiny bit of gluten (say, in some soy), I find some cheese at night seems to help the next day. Do note that it doesn't help if you've had more than just a smidgen of gluten. And no I don't believe it offers any protection. But that there's another tip for coping with gluten in the world.

Oh to have had a slab of cheddar on this trip up north!