What's Normal Feel Like to You?

Hi there. Googled this blog and actually found it last night! That means chances of other readers finding it are higher now. So I'm inspired to keep posting.

I've written at length about the sludge and the diarrhea, and the creepy floaties, and the wind and the rain and the sound and the fury, all assailing you as part of your GI experience...

But there's no amount of verbiage that can accurately capture the immense sense of relief you get when, after years of suffering toilet carnage, you actually have a normal bowel movement. It was like rediscovering a sweet memory of childhood (actually, for me who developed GI as an adult, a normal bowel movement during my GI years was but a sweet memory of childhood).

For the majority without GI, a visit to the toilet is supposed to be relief for the body. You're relieving your body of waste: you do feel a real physical relief. I thought I'd never feel that way again.

Then came Christmas about two odd years ago. December for me is usually a time of parties and feasting, both for Christmas and New Year's. I'm a bit of a gym nut, and am always fussing over my physique (or lack of it). So while I look forward to the company and food around the festive season (and people in Singapore love food), I dread the accompanying weight gain (especially the thickening at the waist, that seems to creep up on you so easily after 40). You're not talking loads of extra poundage, maybe just a pound or two, but it shows on your waist when you're lanky as I am.

Enter the brilliant idea: I decided to try going carb-free, in preparation for the calorie-laden end of year. (Except for the carbs in my veggies -- you mustn't cut them out totally, or the brain can't function at optimum. Thanks to Oprah for that tip!) No rice, but also no bread, pasta, pizza, cake, cookies, noodles... in short, I was going wheatless, in addition to other things.

After a week or two, I began noticing a HUGE difference in my life. No more cramps or bloating. No more diarrhea. No more straining for hours on the toilet bowl trying to move a load of gluey poo. I still remember exiting the toilet one day, with a broad smile on my face and this thought in my head: A NORMAL BOWEL MOVEMENT! Who'da thunk something as mundane as that could bring such joy?

Let's get a little bit into the details. A normal bowel movement for me is one with stools that aren't too hard, but aren't too soft either. And banish the thought of stickiness! The poo's gotta hold together, so that when you push it gently on its way, it slides along nicely keeping its shape. And upon exit, you get the nice C-shaped sausage (thanks Dr. Oz for that advice!).

You know, even if it comes out in solid blobs I'd be happy. The thing is, when it's hard or semi-hard, it doesn't just hold its shape, it holds in its smell too. The poop's pretty odourless, unlike the stinky soft and semi-soft stools.

And then when Christmas and the associated feasting came around, I had a bout of diarrhea. And after New Year's, I bought a loaf of my favourite chocolate chocolate chip bread to celebrate my full return to carbo-land. Yikes! The ensuing sludge was the stuff of nightmares.

So that's when I realised it was probably something in the carbs that was affecting my digestive system. It wasn't all carbs to blame, as I hadn't cut them out totally, but something in the bread, pasta, pizza, cake, cookies, noodles DING *lightbulb moment*....

And so that discovery marked the beginning of my gluten-free journey. I was so overcome with joy and relief, not just at the return to bowel movement normalcy, but also at finding out it was something external that was the cause of my travails, and not actually my own body breaking down. That had been a constant nagging fear -- what's wrong with my body? Why's it behaving like this? Turns out my body was fine; it was just reacting under attack like a normal body would, only this time the attacker was gluten.

Oops. I'd been thinking it was time I shifted away from postings on poo, but I guess it's not time yet. Maybe later.